Typical.

A divorced life along the lines of Demi and Bruce is designed to look like the norm through hollywood media. Unfortunately, real life odds have proven that scenario continues to be statistically atypical.

I suppose you should first ask yourself why you are turning in the direction of divorce. If you don't have any children and you are just realizing early on that you weren't ready to settle down, then you should probably read someone else's post that falls along the lines of 'marrying young' or 'sowing wild oats'.

However, if you've made the decision to bare children with another and/or invest the most invaluable moments of your life in building a union of true significance, yet you have fallen into a pattern of negative communication, blaming, resentment, financial turmoil, and parenting disputes and now feel divorce is the only answer... then read on, because divorcing your spouse may not take you in the direction you expect.

How do I know this? Read some of my other posts and I imagine you'd deem me qualified. On the job experience, my friend. No, not of the divorcee (although some of my experience does come from nearly getting divorced at one time as well). Mainly, what I've learned comes from living through divorce... as a child of not just one, but several.

Divorce typically doesn't erase parenting issues between divorced parents. Each parent will still negate what the other tried to enforce and the homes will be divided like war zones.

Divorce typically doesn't erase money issues between divorced parents. Financial problems usually escalate because of the dynamics of child support, separate households, separate vacations, separate interests without a common goal, etc.

Divorce typically doesn't erase dysfunctional communication between divorced parents. It won't matter to the children whether you're fighting face to face or from different houses. They still feel the dread over their parents unresolved hate for each other and continue to carry that into adulthood.

If your reason for wanting a divorce is that you don't want to keep fighting in front of your children, divorcing is not going to remedy that problem. The solution is to choose to do everything possible to keep your family together while using every resource possible to learn to quit fighting. Use every resource possible to remember what it was that you loved about your spouse enough to marry them. Use every resource possible to learn how you can appreciate them for who they are in the real world, as a parent, partner, friend, lover, etc... Not who you wish they were according to fantasy or media.

Once you have made the commitment to yourself, your spouse and God to bare children with someone, the reasons for breaking that unit should be morally justifiable. If they aren't then, your anger toward the family for debating your reasons for leaving is unfounded.

With Love (the REAL kind),
Dana