'Epic Party' Rehab

A 'Red Balloon' Birthday in the park

The fact that I haven't had a birthday party for my little girl yet, and she turned seven almost six weeks ago; is one that I am most certain would cause massive anxiety with some of the seasoned 'Epic Party' Moms out there. However, I actually feel pretty good. Subsequently, let me be the first to admit that me being cool with a subject such as this has been a long-time-coming. I have, many times, related very well with my 'Epic Party' mamas in the past, and I continue to have the same hope that every one of my children's parties will be more epic than the last. Birthday's have always been my moment to 'shine'; to show all the other moms how I've got it all together, and of course, to show my children how much I'm willing to do to make them happy on their day.

A homemade cake and 'Red Balloon' cake pops. Simple, yet lovely.

So, why am I now okay with a six week delay, whereas a few years back I would have been utterly inconsolable? Perspective.

In a perfect world, I would have begun planning the party months before Aidia's birthday, while having the budget to avoid the heat and schedule something indoors at some ultra-expensive bouncy-house, rainforest restaurant, or neon-illumine bowling alley. Needless to say, this is the part where I state the obvious...the world isn't perfect. The recession of 2008 hit us hard, as it did many families. However, I dug my heels in, not wanting to accept that our youngest would not be able to have just as special of a birthday as the two older ones always did.

With a strong foundation of pure denial-based adrenaline, I kicked into survival mode, and immediately embraced the most logical step; that we'd have to compromise on location and timing. I began to feel a bit liberated, as I saw the chance to embrace my artistic side by incorporating unique themes and creative decor. I encouraged my children to be more creative with their theme choice than what can be ordered in a box, and asked for ideas along the way so they felt it was not only original, yet tailored to them.

There were naturally some mistakes along the way; although, after only a few parties under my belt, I feel I've learned to pull off 'pinching the party penny' rather beautifully. The past several years of birthdays had to continue to be celebrated at home or in our neighborhood park, yet they were conversely the most quaint, beautifully decorated, and therefore most enjoyable of all the years prior.

'Pinching the party penny' has ended up becoming a lovely little tradition. Additionally, it contributed to being my own little internal 'Epic Party' rehab; paving my journey away from the debilitating, commercialized 'Epic Party' addiction I had fallen prey to. 

Eventually, the location change was not the only thing I was able to reduce spending on and still keep the celebration beautiful and memorable for my children. With a little luck and an artistic side, I began my focusing on the benefits of everything 'homemade' and was surprised at how it was not only saving me money, but also induced more squeaks of surprise and smiling eyes from my children than were evident with our past of store-bought cakes and decorations. However, I didn't fall into the change with ease. I had to focus more time and plan accordingly, yet the benefits have been invaluable. These pictures are from my success stories, but if you look at my post from a few years back, Daniel's Techno Party Pre'fails', you'll be able to see first-hand how it's taken me some trial and error to cozy into my artistic niche'. (Daniel absolutely loved it; leaning techno-head and all:)

A candy stand my husband and I repurposed out of an old tea cart

Once I got the tangibles down, I then naturally began to find myself falling into the inevitable... that in order to fully embrace the meaning of a truly heart-felt celebration, there was one, most important aspect of all that needed to be rehabilitated. It was the attitude that I projected onto my children during the process, and it proved to be the most challenging change of all.

Children are more keen than anyone gives them credit for. It makes no sense to market the benefits of a unique, homemade party to your kids as being 'better' for the soul, and then 'lose it' when the candles won't stay lit or the cake-pops crack in the heat. There are some mothers that are naturals at effortlessly utilizing that invaluable talent of making 'lemonade out of lemons', coupled with the beauty of a well-honed, eloquent approach. However, my German genetics made it a bit more challenging. After last year's 'Sweet Treats' party, I finally felt I'd fallen into a groove as I sat back and realized that I had just successfully made lemonade out of my last few, rotten little lemons.   

A 'Sweet Treats' Birthday in the park

I've developed a few 'perspective tools' that have been been really helpful when I start to fall off the wagon. The best one that never gets old, is when I force myself to think like my child. It is amazingly calming when I look back at my own childhood and how my memories of my parties are just a blur of blowing out candles, sleepovers, playing 'light as a feather, stiff as a board', and deciding who-sleeps-by-whom. 

Something that also helps, that I not only attribute to my experience as a mother, but also to what I've learned while studying Psychology in college, is to always consider children's naturally heightened senses when trying to understand them. It's evident in their bland taste pallet, sensitive feet, sensitive scalp, and brilliant reactions to the 'little things' we take for granted. It is for this reason that they seem to mostly cherish the simplicity that we ironically sometimes focus the least of our time on as adults. Such as the smiling eyes looking at them during the birthday song, the taste of the cake, working on a craft with their daddy, and bopping around the balloons. The great thing about it is, those little 'nuances' that mean the most, are usually free.

Training myself to focus on what my brain knows is most important for my family, over what my 'emotions' are trying to tell me, is something I always have to remind myself, and try to remind my kids, especially in this materialistic world. It's built into our psyche from the time we are young, so the yearning for perfectly 'Epic' will always be whispering my name, trying to override what my mind knows is emphatically more important.